Over the years I have been told that men should be rough, tough, non-emotional, provide, and protect their feelings. All around us, men are told to subdue nurturing thoughts and actions, men are told to hold in their emotions or feelings to protect masculinity at its best. What are you protecting? The right to hold a hammer, to be the boss, or simply to be seen in as a stud? Masculinity is much more than the toughness of a man. The soft, gentle, and vulnerable man is one who will change the world for the better. We all need men who will stand up for what is right, not for an image.
For years, I have fought with myself and others about who I should be or become. I have been told over an over again that I should act or speak a specific way. I have been told I couldn't do things or would not accomplish things. In every situation, I took the impossible on, and success was found. In each of these moments, I found a little more of who I am and what my potential is to become. We are made up of moments, connections, and actions. Each of these play a particular part in our futures. The most important things I learned along this journey has been the fact that communication, honesty, and vulnerability make me stronger.
Recognizing we are unable to do everything alone and that we need to learn will only bring greater knowledge and amazing joy. Learning is part of life and should be part of each day. Being willing to be vulnerable enough to admit you are wrong, don't have all the answers, and want something better all contribute to an amazing future. So many of us only see what we have right now and lose sight of our potential, God's grace, and don't forget some good old fashioned hard work.
There are those who will sit back and be a victim of their circumstance and never feel joy or experience real success. Success is not determined by money, titles, or awards. Success should always be determined by your inward feelings and emotions about who you are or will become. The success of knowing who you are and a desire to give of yourself will bring greater reward in the areas of money, titles, and public achievements. I am not saying that your inward success will guarantee career success. I am saying that when you make this outward success happen there will be a greater sense of accomplishment or success. I have talked with many who feel empty even though they are the leader of a large organization or have earned lots of money. The emptiness they are feeling is the lack of inward success.
In order to gain this amazing kind of success you much begin with being vulnerable. Be open with yourself. Acknowledge your failures, but make sure you do not dwell upon them to long. Make sure to move forward, making plans, and then get off your butt to work hard. Stop pitying yourself, start empowering yourself. Be open with those who love you; wife, husband, children, girlfriend, boyfriend, and good friend. They want to support you because you have supported them.
Last of all, never give up on your dreams! I mean, NEVER! When you made those dreams did you intend to give up because of hardship? I don't think you ever saw the hardship, you only saw the dream. The dream does not have to fade because hard happens. Now that you know, plan for the hard and respond with learning, then apply right away. Your dreams are yours and should never be given up on.
Live Your Dream!
Begin today to listen to those around you. Real listening is an action and much more than just being present. Your relationships will grow as you place the value of people higher in your life.
Do you know what makes you happy? Do you know what makes you successful? Do you make plans to accomplish your dreams with little resistance? Are you optimistic about your potential? As you reflect upon these questions you may think back to moments you knew your direction or maybe that time is right now. You may recognize the most impactful people in your life and thank them.
Wait, you may be jolted back into reality and feel a sense of failure, or missed opportunities. You may even say to yourself, "what if". Does thinking about the many "what ifs" make you enjoy right now? I am sure you don't feel joy from failure, but without failure, there is no joy.
Now think, what if you did not miss out or fail? What did you learn along this journey of personal development? This is what I want you to begin thinking more about. I want you to think differently, even set yourself apart from the herd. Allow me to share a little about what sets me apart. I am not perfect or special. In fact, I struggle mentally often. I even doubt myself, but I always get up and learn.
My desire to teach, train, serve, lift, help, and guide is what I am meant to do. It is something I have always known about myself but just did not know how to move forward with this dream. I have been lifted by many others who have blazed the trails of adversity and shown me how to overcome some of the most difficult mountains. Anything from suffering physically all the way to suffering spiritually, I have many role models. I say thank you!
I am most happy when I am helping another see their own potential, what they have accomplished, and create solid goals. When the goals are accomplished we rejoice together and feel our confidence increase. Seeing confidence grow within a person is most rewarding. I desire to guide you to the resources and then see you through the process. You are the main resource for your happiness and success.
The number one thing I wish everyone could develop within themselves is a sense of optimism or hope for the good that is to come. There are terrible things that happen every day, but this does not mean you have a reason to be grumpy, sad, miserable, angry, or depressed. There is too much going right for you to focus so much on the bad, and I need to hear this right now.
Think about this situation. How about moving your family across states all because you feel promoted and guided to move. That seems crazy, right? Why would you move states when there is so much happening right where you are currently? Why would you take your children away from their great friends, comfortable school, and extracurricular activities that have served them so well? And, why would you take your spouse away from the amazingly successful business they created? Really? All because of a prompting? Are you crazy? YES! and NO!
A prompting and guidance from God, your Father, is the best thing to follow. Yes, this is hard to do and you are not sure what the reason is right now, but the reward and comfort of following God's will is the best thing you could ever do. This is my situation right now. My family and I are moving states all based off on a prompting and feeling. My wife and I have felt this pull to move away from Utah and to Arizona. We do not have anything there waiting for us. I do have a job there but that is not what is motivating us.
Optimism, faith, and hope will carry us through this difficult time. The growth we are experiencing and the mountains we will climb will mold me and my family into far better people than anything we could do on our own. We embrace change and challenge because we see potential in who we can become. I am far from perfect or close to who I desire to become. This is the journey I call life. My journey will be different than yours, but we can learn from one another.
What I ask of you is to consider learning and listening. You, nor I, know everything. I know that may come to you as a surprise. :) You, nor I, are better than each other. In fact, comparing one another is only going to drive a wedge between us. Thinking you don't hear the Lord because you heard my story will only drive you away from me and most importantly, the Lord. Stop judging me for thinking I am better than you. I don't think this, this is your own insecurities speaking up. You know you can be better but are not putting the effort into that kind of lifestyle. I see more in you, God sees more in you. I know you are better than this comparison game. I am grateful for people who are better than me, they inspire me and motivate me.
What is being said that you need to listen to? Why are you not listening? Start right now with a little optimism about what is being said. Begin thinking, "this information is for me". Begin thinking, "God is speaking to me". If what is being said will bring light into your life then listen. Light is God and Christ. Light is joy. Light is success. Light is happiness. Light is growth. Light is what you will project to others if you embrace what is being said.
I believe in you being your best. I know you can become whatever you desire, with all the right effort. If you want to succeed in your career, let's make a plan to put forth all the right efforts. If you want to overcome an addiction, let's make sure you have all the right people in your life and the best activities to change this habit from working against you to work for you. If you want to connect at a higher level with your spouse, let's open your mind to a new way of compassionate communication.
My invitation: I am a High Performance Coach and offer help to see the optimistic viewpoint and accomplish the impossible. I want to instill in you a mindset to accomplish anything. If you are struggling to hit your sales quota at work, I can help. If you are struggling to connect with your loved ones, I can help. If you are struggling with an addiction, I can help. If you are experiencing extreme adversity and think all is lost, I can help. I am talking about mindset. I am talking about potential. I am talking about your divine nature.
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Please take my invitation seriously. This is from my heart to yours. It has only taken me several complete drafts to get this down. I wrote many before and then completely scratched them. I wanted you to feel my heart behind what is being said.
I am posting my schedule below for you to take this invitation and schedule a free consultation with me. I call this a strategy session.
Schedule your Free Consultation
I look forward to getting to know you better soon.
From my heart to yours,
Jeremy R. Smithson, CHPC